My Weakness, My Strength
If someone where to ask you, "What is one of your greatest weaknesses?" what would you say? Perhaps, to begin, we need a little background. What is a weakness? According to Webster’s Dictionary, a weakness is the quality or state of being weak, or a defect. If I were to apply this definition to my life, I could say that some of my “weaknesses” include asthma, a damaged fibularis brevis ligament, and chronic migraines. But what about non-physical weaknesses? Procrastination, perfectionism, and disorganization are just a few of the many weaknesses in my personality. Everyone has some kind of weakness however, not every weakness is visible.
Think of the person that you most admire, the person who you want to be. Typically, when most people think of this person, they think of this person’s strengths. Perhaps this person is conventionally attractive or maybe they are extremely intelligent. This person may have a good relationship or a successful business. Maybe this person is simply wealthy. All of these traits are considered to be “good.” Most people do not aspire to be someone because of that person’s weaknesses. This often causes people to put these role models on pedestals. They are blind to their weaknesses which can cause issues for both the role model and the people who look up to them. The people who look up to the role model can feel unworthy or that they can never reach their goals because they have too many weaknesses. On the other hand, the role model will feel as though they always must be successful and strong. There is no place for weakness in their life. Disney does an amazing job showing this paradox in their new movie, Encanto, with three very different sisters. One sister is strong and the other is considered conventionally perfect but they have secret weaknesses hidden inside. The third sister is known for being exceptionally ordinary. At first she was envious of her sisters but soon learned that even though they seem either perfect or strong, they both have many weaknesses.
Throughout my life, as short as it has been, I have been blessed with many achievements both in academics and in my work. When people look at me, they often only see the success. They do not see the struggles along they way. They do not see my weaknesses, my depression, my anxiety, my pain and struggles. I am also guilty of this. I often mask my weakness from myself by just focusing on my achievements. Over the last few months, I have learned that I can not longer get away with this. Beginning veterinary school has given me a new perspective: I am not perfect. Previously, I mentioned that one of my weaknesses is perfectionism. I have always expected nothing but perfection from myself however this expectation was crushed this past semester when I failed all of my first exams for my classes. I quickly learned that I had a lot of weaknesses which I had previously been hiding from both myself and others. Something needed to change.
Everyone has weaknesses but the greatest test of strength is how one works to improve their weaknesses. It took me most of the semester to understand this thought and accept that it would take much time and effort to achieve this change in mindset. My journey of self acceptance has led me to have a much deeper understanding of myself. Throughout my life, I have always felt like there was something different about me compared to others. I never could understand how my brain would work or why I did some of the things that I did. Recently, I began to accept this "weakness" and to seek guidance about it. After a few different referrals and some testing, I learned that I have ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It was overlooked in my youth because I was considered to be "gifted" or a high achiever. Although most people may be distraught by this news, this has been one of the biggest gifts of my life. For nearly 21 years, I struggled trying to understand myself. I hid any weakness that I had but, deep down, I knew something made me different than many of my peers. Now, all of my questions are answered and I am free. I know what makes me different and how I can work to improve it. Knowing my weakness, is my biggest strength.
Everyone has weaknesses. Even the people who you view strong or perfect have their flaws. We would not be human without them. Although these weaknesses may be masked by certain strengths such as intelligence, beauty, or money, there are still present. Accepting our weaknesses and working to improve them is what makes someone strong. Although it may not be easy, it can be done. By now, you have probably thought of some of your own weaknesses. How do your weaknesses impact your life and what can you do to improve them? I charge you to ponder on this thought and who knows, maybe one day, your weakness will be your biggest strength too.
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